When I Lived in...

When I lived in New York, I struggled through acting workshops and making enough to eat. When I lived in New York, I followed a dream of recognition and power. I tested my talents and desires. I fell in love over and over again and ignored my real dream of performance and magic in my life. When I lived in New York, I felt constant self-hatred and a eeking feeling of inadequacy. When I lived in New York, I became afraid of people but loved the city. I walked the bridges and neighborhoods of Manhattan and Brooklyn. I meditated on park benches and large boulders of central park. I braved the wind and snow for Chinese at one o'clock in the morning. I fantasized and fraternized with hipsters and bums. I made up new dreams that I didn't follow and found myself working in an insurance office on 64th street. When I lived in New York, I discovered what I would discover no matter where I had or would have lived. I discovered that it was what I allowed to happen inside that forged the doings and happenings of my life. I discovered fear.

New York...New Mexico